Nicole Marie Teutschel at UC Santa Cruz Long Marine Lab, CA--Stelephant Colbert was featured in a segment on Comedy Central's The Colbert Report. Stelephant Colbert is an adult male elephant seal named after Stephen Colbert, of the Report. Last night Stephen Colbert acknowledged Stelephant, and then proceeded to declare his hideousness.
Stelephant has yet to comment on last night's attack on his impressive proboscis (or large nose).
Our sources do confirm however, that Stelephant is not letting Stephen's comments bring him down. "He's just undulating it off" Says UCSC undergraduate intern Lauren Randall. "Stelephant was a beta male today, it seems that he is fighting off the other males one by one." Beta males are not the top dogs in the harems, but instead the second in command. "Not too shabby, Stelephant, not too shabby." Randall added.
Stelephant's arch nemisis Jon Sealwart (named after Jon Stewart of the Daily Show) was not mentioned on the Colbert Report. Seems odd, as that usually the real Stephen Colbert is quick to point out his superior qualities. In this case in the form of a large marine mammal.
Today Jon Sealwart too has been spotted. No news here, he's still asleep. Sealwart has in fact, never been spotted awake during this breeding season. "We were afraid he was dead, but then he started snoring" Randall remarked.